Having people over for dinner, board game night, or watching a sports match is one of the most fun things in the world. We love entertaining guests and making them feel right at home. After all, making someone happy makes us feel happy, too. However, the sad truth is that not everyone is worthy of this sort of attention and kindness. Some guests act as though they’ve just stepped out of a portal from the Rudeness Dimension.
Disrespectful, impolite, and jaw-droppingly unpleasant, these guests are a host’s worst nightmare. The people of Reddit have opened up about the (dis)pleasure of hosting some of the worst guests ever. Ever! They were very candid about the downright weird and insulting things these folks did when they came over, and the stories would make almost anyone clutch their pearls and gasp, “Oh, my word!”
As you’re reading the stories, upvote the ones that you think show the worst guests of the bunch, dear Pandas. And when you’re all done with this list, tell us all about your worst moments having people over at your home, in the comments. In the mood for some more guests who have no sense of morals or boundaries? We’ve got you covered: check out these two articles by Bored Panda here and here.
Bored Panda was interested to know how to make guests feel welcome, how to tell if they actually had a good time, and how to urge rude guests who overstayed their welcome to leave, so we reached out to Jessica Leigh Clark-Bojin. Jessica is a talented pie artist, knows all about hosting dinners and parties, and is the author of 'Pies Are Awesome.'
"There are any number of unforgivable dinner guest faux-pas, everything from a guest refusing to take off their stiletto heels on your new softwood floors (I’m Canadian and we don’t wear shoes indoors at parties!), or bringing extra guests or kids to a dinner party when they were not invited (no, just no), to refusing to try anything served to them, or haranguing others about their diet choices," Jessica listed just some of the ways that guests can make the host feel bad about inviting them.
"But perhaps the most egregious is the guest who, perhaps after imbibing a few adult beverages too many, refuses to take the hint and hit the road after everyone else has left," she said that some guests simply refuse to leave. According to Jessica, a direct approach works well in these cases.
#1I threw a New Years party once. ONCE. Someone I invited brought a group of people who I knew, but didn’t exactly enjoy the company of.
Sometime around 1am, I noticed that my keepsake urn necklace containing my brother’s ashes was missing. Then, I discover a couple of small lines of powder-like material in lines on my bathroom counter. The f**kers had tried to snort my brother and stole the necklace his remains were in. I was livid.
Image credits: captkronni
"I am a fan of the direct approach, 'YAWN! Well, I’m beat. Great party! Can I call you a cab?' or if that is still too subtle, you can always end with the Seinfeld classic, 'You must go now,'" Jessica shared with Bored Panda that there are a variety of ways to help your guests to realize that they've got their own homes to get to. We're especially fans of any strategy related to comedy because it makes everyone feel good while also getting our point across.
"If you know you have guests coming over that are prone to this sort of annoying welcome-outstaying, you may want to lay the groundwork in advance by including a start and end time for the dinner party in your invitation (with a bit of humor)," Jessica suggested doing something like this: "'Appetizers and drinks at 7pm, dinner served at 8pm, dessert at 9pm, followed by ‘you all get the heck out of my house’ at 10pm.'"
Jessica pointed out that she knows for a fact that her friends would appreciate an invite like this. Of course, it's best to adjust the wording to suit your own friends' sense of humor... if they have one.
#2Wiped their a** on the white sink hand towel after taking a s**t. Had plenty of available toilet paper. Called them out for it, they denied it, so I never invited them over again.
Image credits: Tavli
#3Gave my dog drugs because, and i quote "she looked sad so i thought some molly would cheer her up"... looking back though i tried to be patient at first, after hearing his attempts at defending himself my reaction was pretty harsh, and i do not regret a f**king thing i said or did. F**k that piece of s**t. He gave mdma to a f**king 3 pound chihuahua and almost killed the only reliably good thing in my life and the only thing that gave me any real sense of happiness and he couldn't understand why i was so angry and had the nerve to try and press charges on me.
Image credits: dman2316
Bored Panda wanted to get Jessica's opinion on how a host can help their guests feel welcome when they're over for dinner. She told us that if you're having a few people over, the first thing that you want to do is to ask for everyone's food allergies and preferences upfront. "Something along the lines of, 'I am thinking of cooking paella—is anyone allergic to seafood?' or 'I’d like to have a bash at making my own pasta for our dinner—does anyone have an issue with gluten?'" she explained that a little bit of politeness and forethought can work wonders.
However, if you're hosting a larger party, then you'll want to approach things a bit differently. Jessica kindly showed us how to do this.
"If the party is much larger, however, it is likely you won’t be able to create a main dish that will perfectly jive with everyone’s dietary needs. I think in that case something more along the lines of, 'This is what we’ll be having for dinner and appys, I hope everyone will enjoy! But if you have any special dietary allergies that would prevent you from enjoying the main dish, please feel free to bring something to supplement your meal so that you can enjoy dinner with the rest of us!' and sprinkle liberally with smiley emojis," she said.
"Make it clear that 'this is what you’ll be getting' in an email upfront and you won’t have to end up killing yourself to create a last-minute vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free variant for your cousin’s girlfriend who didn’t mention until just before dinner that she can eat anything you’ve prepared!"
#4A grown man in our house for the first and last time (college academic team gathering. This was not a family friend) marked his height on our children’s wooden growth chart…in permanent Sharpie marker.
Image credits: ClutterKitty
#5Ate the dog's pellets. The bag was nearly full before she came and was half full when she left.
Image credits: KoemiTheDutchBabe_
#6I recently had a grown-a** man snort a line of Parmesan cheese like it was cocaine. He was completely sober and this was totally unprompted.
Image credits: stievstigma
Meanwhile, the food expert shared with Bored Panda a subtle thing to look at if you want to know if your guests had a genuinely good time and enjoyed your food at your dinner party. There's a category of people who won't tell you the truth no matter what. They're simply far too polite to cause a stir.
"Look at the plates. Did they lick them clean and ask for seconds? Or did they stir things around and leave lots left over? That’s a pretty good indication of what your 'too polite to tell you the truth' guests really thought of your meal. If you’re super paranoid, you can put on some gloves and check out the napkins for spit out mouthfuls of food after everyone has gone home… But if you find yourself digging through pre-masticated garbage after your dinner party, you may want to take a long hard look at your life choices," Jessica quipped.
"A note of caution about the 'licking the plate clean' scenario—if there are no seconds to offer, this can also be an indication that your portions were smaller than your guests may have preferred, and they may still be starving. You can offer to whip up some extra hors d’oeuvres and if they jump at the notion, you'll know you’ve been a bit light on the calories."
#7I had some work people over for a dinner party at my house. We purposely shut off the lights leading upstairs to sort of let the guests know that the party is downstairs...i.e. there is nothing for you upstairs.
Throughout the night I would see one of my coworkers taking out the dip from his lip with his index finger and scraping it into his solo cup.
A bit later I went upstairs to check on my dog and hear some noises from the master bedroom.
I walked in and saw the same dude using my toothbrush to get dip out from in between his teeth.
He doesn't get invited to parties anymore.
Image credits: RIGHT2SMITE
#8Took the sample Mach 5 razor ( it was new and they had sent the whole neighborhood a full size sample) out of my mailbox, then shaved all his pubes with it and leave them in my shower drain, then proceeded to lie to my face about it as if the pubes magically appeared on the very same day everyone in the neighborhood got a new free razor in the mail except for me.
Image credits: No-Return-3368
#9He said he needed to look up something on internet so i lended him my laptop. He then proceeds to watch p**n on my couch while i am 6 ft away from him. I took the laptop back..
Image credits: Emerald_see
At the end of the day, no matter who you invite over—your closest friends, beloved family members, or new acquaintances—you have to feel comfortable with what’s going on in your home. That means enforcing certain boundaries if someone hasn’t got a drop of common sense and oversteps politeness by leaps and bounds.
We can be subtle and friendly at first, but if our guests can’t (or won’t!) take the increasingly overt hints, it might be time to (politely) urge them to leave. Turn off the music, start doing the dishes, exaggerate your yawns (you’ve got an early start tomorrow, right?), slap your knees while standing up and say “well…”—do whatever you have to do to get the people who ruined your night out of your home. And may they never darken your doorstep again.
When it comes to decorating our homes, there are two main things that we need to consider. The first is how we feel and what type of home we’d love to live in. The second is how we’d like for others to perceive us when they come over for a drink or dinner.
#10Wasn't my house was a friends, we had been invited over to drink and stay the night. We sat in the garden talked and drank and then one of our friends excused himself to the bathroom he was gone for about 20 minutes until another friend said he will go check on him. He came back down 5 minutes later laughing his a** off. The dude had gone upstairs and ran a bubble bath for himself, lit a few candles and even had a floating duck. The friend hosting was a cool guy and wasn't angry as we were all friends.
Image credits: Mousey_Belle_1996
#11An old neighbor got drunk at a poker game at my house. She then went into my bathroom, left the door open and peed on the bath mat. My friend walked in on it and the neighbor said it was because she couldn’t find the light switch. The hall light was on, which fully lit up this tiny bathroom.
Image credits: yasm76
#12My uncle, aunt, and my mom travelled from another country to visit while I was in college, they stayed in my place. I had to leave for a class in the morning and left them in the house to chill. When I came back from my class, my uncle had shaved my shin-poo’s legs down thinking he did me a favor. My fluffy cute dog looked so ugly with naked legs. What’s worse? He somehow only shaved three and forgot the fourth leg.
Image credits: chloeiko
Relationship and dating expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man, told Bored Panda during a previous interview that we should aim to furnish our homes in such a way as to make ourselves truly happy. After all, it’s impossible to impress everyone. However, you can tell a lot about a person by how they behave when they have guests over.
"A man’s home is part of what people initially use to judge his social status and character. However, how he behaves and acts with the people who come over to his place says so much more about him," the expert told Bored Panda.
"A man might have a perfectly tidy, well-designed, and stylish home, but be very nervous and try too hard to impress people who come over. So, rather than seeing him as a cool, confident, successful man they can admire and look up to, most people just perceive him as a nervous, insecure guy with a nice place. Alternatively, they may see him as a guy who tries hard to please others with material things because he's insecure about himself and doesn't feel good enough in their eyes,” he said.
#13Back when I was a freshman in university, I invited some of my mates to our place for dinner because mom wanted to meet the people I went to university with. When dinner was laid out, my mom was like, "go ahead, feel free to grab anything." Which obviously, she meant anything on the table or any of the food that was served.
One of the guys who came over proceeded to go to our pantry door, open it, look around for a few seconds, and then went and took some of the canned items inside (think sausages, spam, etc.)
It was the most unusual thing. I think my mom was also properly dumbfounded that she just didn't mention it. Guy didn't mention it either after he did so (he took around 3-4 cans).
Image credits: UnderTheFishHook
#14First college party. A girl drank one--one!--beer and started acting like she was sOoOo wasted. Got fully naked and sat on my papasan chair. One of the most embarrassingly attention-seeking people I've ever met lol.
Image credits: itswhatsername
#15A friend was drunk and drank water out of the cat bowl because he couldn't find any. The cat water bowl is right under the sink in the bathroom and where I live, water from the sink is drinkable and very good. We laugh about it now.
Image credits: sketsket
"Remember that most people care more about themselves than other people. So, allow people to talk about themselves, rather than always trying to be the center of attention," Dan said that hosts should allow their guests to shine and should avoid being overly ego-centric.
"Also remember to not try to oversell yourself or your place, to hopefully gain people’s approval. Be confident and secure in who you are as a person and let your surroundings provide additional clues about who you are and how you approach life."
In the expert’s view, everyone has a very individualistic approach to how they decorate, furnish, and keep their homes. Some might prefer to have everything perfectly clean and in order. Meanwhile, others feel confident even when there’s a bit of a mess at home. Whatever the case might be, the homeowner should listen to their heart and focus on their own happiness, instead of wanting to impress everyone else. However, that doesn’t mean that you should ignore being a friendly host if you love entertaining others.
#16Threw a steak at a window.
Image credits: wohejo208
#17When I was an older teen, my little bro (young teen) had the worst friends. I walked in to the bathroom once, and two of his friends (both straight males) were shaving each other’s butts.
Image credits: ponch1620
#18It was me.
I was visiting my brother and sis in law at their fancy new apartment and I took a smelly s**t. They had candles in there for just that sort of thing so I lit 2 and hung around while the scent worked its magic. Not sure how, but I didn't notice the black smoke coming from the candles was leaving black streaks on the walls. I blew out the candles and tried to clean the walls. TP didn't work, so I used their white fancy towels. It still didn't work but I ruined those towels trying.
Eventually there was no escape but to fess up so I did and was mortified.
Image credits: magnetic_mystic
"If you enjoy placing a lot of importance on your home because it means a lot to you, then do that. If you only see it as a place to live and want to focus your attention on other things, you should do that. You can never impress or please everyone, no matter what you do. Just look at celebrities as an example. They have millions of people who love them and millions who hate them,” Dan said.
"The same applies to your home. You will never make it, furnish it or arrange it in a way where everyone loves you for it and wishes they had it. Some people will love it, others will like it and some will hate it. So, just enjoy doing what you want to do. That’s the only way you’ll truly be happy."
#19One night my homie/roommate came back with a coworker (servers) who needed a place to crash, so of course we offered him a spot of the crash couch. He was this weird Screech-lookin' mfer that really didn't fit with our whole party vibe. But, y'know, when a friend asks for help, ya help 'em.
Also he had the funniest reason to need to crash. Dude lived on a sailboat, but somebody stole his rowboat that day, so how could I say no to "I'm too drunk to swim home."
Anywho, we set him up on the couch while the party is still raging, and he pulls me aside and asks: "Hey man, what are your magnetics like?"
"I can't sleep unless the magnetics are just right, so, like, are they?"
I dunno man, we got some train tracks across the road and a cemetery down the way...Does that help?
"Perfect! Uhhhmm, I wouldn't usually ask...but could you tuck me in, just in case?"
*wut face* version 2.0
Ya goddamn right I, a grown-a** man, tucked him, another grown-a** man, in to sleep!
#20Had a former friend visit me from overseas and literally disappear overnight to go and f**k some guy she'd been talking to online...leaving me to field a call from her husband, who wanted to know why his wife wasn't answering her mobile.
Image credits: whitewidow33B
#21Friend of a friend was on mushrooms and decided to do some "amateur electrical work" during a party at my house. That's a direct quote btw, overheard by multiple people.
If that statement terrifies you, that's because those are not words that should ever be in the same sentence let alone a sentence that amounts to a thing you are about to do at someone else's house.
Ya so, not being an electrician I can't tell you exactly what he did or what he was trying to do, all I can tell you is that 800 dollars and 24 hours later the problem he created was solved by a professional.
He wound up in the hospital and exited the party in an ambulance.
lol, "amateur electrical work."
He's fine and paid me back. All in all pretty good dude.
Image credits: No-Badger-9973
#22My friend treated my house like it was his own hotel room. I thought was coming to visit me and we'd coordinate for stuff to do, but it turns out he just wanted to save money on a place to sleep.
He had his own plans and didn't tell me about any of them until he got to my place. And he even tried getting his other friends in the area to sleep at my place.
I hadn't seen him in years, too. So I was disappointed that I planned my holiday weekend around my friend but he had other plans.
Image credits: debtopramenschultz
#23Sat over toilet and shaved pubes. Left the hair all over the ground, toilet seat and floating in the water.
#24Roommate's friend stayed with us for a few weeks. I don't know what his issue with the bathroom was, but after he left I found several containers (empty cola bottles, mason jars, that sort of thing) full of urine all over the upstairs where he had been staying. Wtf?
#25My friend just told me the story of a guy who got blind drunk at his house and took a dump on top of his freestanding fireplace. While it was on! I can’t imagine how bad that would have smelled! Same dude had a problem pissing in random spots of houses that weren’t the toilet.
I’ve met the guy. Seems really nice. No f**king way he’s getting anywhere near my house though….
#26An (ex)gf and I had an apartment years ago. She was still in touch with an ex. The Ex and his gf wanted to come to the area and we invited him and his gf to stay with us for the weekend.
We all hit it off at dinner, great conversation and laughs, and was a great Friday night. We had a spare bedroom and thats where the two of them slept. FYI: We used this spare room also to store a few things, and to put our dirty clothes in hampers.
I got up in the middle of the night to the both of them snacking in the kitchen. No biggie, I do it too and I told them to make themselves at home.
Well, after chatting and having some chips/dip I caught on to what they both were wearing. Our clothes. Um what? Now I know that people sometimes offer up clothes like pjs/misc clothing to a guest that isnt prepared but they brought bags with them. What in the heck was in their bags that they needed to wear our clothes?
Worse part was the shorts and tshirts that they both had on were dirty and visibly so. I told them we had clean clothes and offered that up but they said they were fine. They ended up leaving the next morning.
But who stays at someone's place and wears their dirty clothes? Wtf? Yeah, we laughed about it after they left but I couldnt help but be creeped out.
Image credits: pm-me_ur_confessions
#27A friend of my father had a really hard time in her life and lost her apartment. We had a spare room so he invited her to stay for a few weeks to get her business right and find a new job and s**t.
So she moved in and for the first week or so everything was pretty normal but then she starts to bring al sorts of stuff home "for her new start". We talking like clothes, cooking utensils, decoration and such things. Wasn't a big deal cause yk she gotta start somewhere.
Things got out of hand pretty quickly and she turns basically into a hoarder. By this time she had lived a month at our place and you couldn't see the floor in her room anymore. Ther was just so much stuff it was crazy. My father was rightfully pretty pissed and confronted her. She got into a whole screaming fit and also slapped him.
We had her removed by the police and gave her the chance to collect her stuff a few days later but she never turned up. Don't know where she is now.
#28Went in my dirty laundry hamper and started sniffing my clothes.
#29I was the guest in this one, but once I fertilized a british couples rose garden by puking a gallon of red wine and truffle stew all over it. I am not welcome back.
#30Give people free tattoos. No he doesn't do tattoos, the kit was from Amazon.
Image credits: F**kJanice
#31A coed of mine, a very much petite and super straight laced girl attended a small party at my place with a few other people from uni. She usually doesn't drink much but this night began to pick out and eat all the fruit from the self made fruit punch. If you know anything about fruit punches, the fruit are absolutely soaked with alcohol. Way more so than the actual punch. We told her but she continued to snack on the fruits. Just a bit slower. She ended up absolutely s**t faced drunk after a short while. A tiny bit later she disappeared into the bathroom. Puking noises were heard which probably was a good thing considering how drunk she was.
After a longer time of silence I knocked to check if she was fine. I got some indiscernable mumbling about maybe she could use some help but maybe don't come on but she can't do it alone. Maybe I could give her a frying pan or a spoon or something.
I was very confused and told her I would open the door and to make sure she was dressed. When I came she was blushed to the maximum sitting on the floor. The whole bath tub was full of liquid vomit thinned with water and tons of fruit swimming around. She went on about how she wasn't able to clean the mess up alone. Apparently she had been trying to shovel the whole tub full of vomit into the toilet using her hands the whole time. The s**t you do when drunk lol. The bath tub was clogged up with fruit so it didn't empty.
I grabbed some stuff from the kitchen. She unclogged the bath tub with some tools. We filtered our the fruit with a sieve and drained and cleaned the bath tub. Well mostly me as she fell asleep on the floor during the process. Welp.
After the bathroom was done I put up my camping bed in my room, grabbed some extra blankets and a small couch pillow and tried to wake her up. She wouldn't. So I carried her over to the bed and made sure she was warm. Put a bucket next to the bed and a small bottle of water. The party went on into the morning hours. When I woke up the next morning or rather around early afternoon she was gone, the bed was perfectly made.
When I got to the living room it was perfectly clean with no signs of there ever being a party last night. Same for the kitchen minus a few remaining full bottled and snacks all nearly packed up in Tupper ware. There was a written note, well more of a letter on length lying on the kitchen table.
In her note she explained in length how she was extremely embarrassed by what happened. That she was thankful how I handled the situation and that I remained calm. Also she said that other guys she knows might have tried to take advantage of her drunk state and she was happy I didn't for one second try anything. Lastly she said to make up the mess she made she cleaned the kitchen and living room from all the party remains. Also she made breakfast which was in the fridge. Lastly she'd be happy if I didn't contact her for a week or two as she'd be too embarrassed to talk to me anyways.
We became really close friends after that happened but it was surely weird. Both the bath tub full of fruit vomit juice and miticulously cleaning my flat the day after.
#32Took the biggest f**king s**t you can imagine, turd was so big it wouldn’t flush, made a land bridge right across the bowel, so she covered it with a butt ton of tp and then sprinkled perfume all over it to mask the smell. Small chick too
#33Pulled out his erect p***s, put a crab claw on it, and proclaimed "SPARTACUS" really loudly.
#34my mom made a friend at her church who was in need of a place to stay and we had a spare room. she ended up drinking about 25 BOTTLES of my moms wine in one week and ruining the mattress and rug with reddish brown hair dye that we thought was blood for a long time.
#35ot me, but my parents, back in the early '60s.
We had a home on Cape Cod that had been in the family for nearly 200 years, but we lived elsewhere and went to the house on weekends and during the summer. My parents frequently invited friends to stay with them at the house.
One time some friends who had stayed there previously and who also went to our church asked Mom and Dad if they could use the house. My parents agreed and gave them the key.
The next time we went to the house, we discovered that they had painted the kitchen window trim and sills red. They had also stopped up the toilet, which uses a septic system.
But the kicker is that the next time the church bulletin came out, there was an item thanking this couple for hosting their son's Sunday school class "at their charming home on Cape Cod."
#36I was the guest in this case.
I was maybe 8 at the time and I was sleeping over at a friends house. I wake up to find I have wet the bed. Super embarrassing.
I try to find spare clothes and cannot find anything no matter where I look.
I cannot keep wearing my pjs because they are footed pjs.
Because it's in the middle of the night, I run upstairs (naked) to try to find literally anything that could cover me. A blanket, anything. I have no luck.
SOMEHOW, someone is awake at 2 am, and they are looking for me. I figure out it's my friend's mom.
She comes around the corner to see me huddled down on the floor looking like gollum from lord of the rings with only a tiny pillow to hid my shame.
They gave me some clothes and I want to say that was the last time I ever slept at their house again.
Image credits: purplealchemist
#37I have this friend who told me she smelled my shampoo when she went in the bathroom. Apparently she does this to every house she visits, she smells their shampoo and body wash.
Image credits: Flu0xetin3
#38Washed his house slippers in the dishwasher.
#39s**t in the sink
#40When I went to University I took my brand new bestie back to my hometown where we stayed with my parents. My bestie and I went drinking then returned to my parent’s home to sleep. He had the spare room all to himself but when we got up in the morning there was no sign of him. We knocked and entered the room to find s**t everywhere. Everywhere.
He’d fled the scene.
To this day he denies it was him.
#41My roommate had the drummer (figures) of his band over. Dude heats up the metal end of his lighter and just sticks it on my ankle, sober. Burned the hell out of me. Didn't say a word, or acted like it was anything but innocent and amusing. I had never met the prick before. Between fight, flight or freeze response , I've never been a freeze except for that day. Genuinely shocked.
#42Licked the door of my snacks closet. The door. Not the snacks.
Image credits: Loros_Silvers
#43Stole my 7 month old baby’s piggy bank.
He had hurt his back at work the previous summer and was given pain meds to treat it, became addicted and was secretly using street drugs. That was how we all figured out he had been the culprit behind a bunch of missing money, jewelry, and medications from all our (friend group’s) homes that year.
Thankfully, that confrontation ultimately led to him realizing he had a problem and seeking out treatment.
#44Kept pulling things from my shelves and putting them on my desk and commenting on them and then also started opening drawers and cupboards and doing the same thing. Even after I asked them multiple times to put it back and stop it. They kept doing it and that was the last time I invited them into my home.
#45He took off ALL of his clothes when I pointed him towards the sofa and said, “Make yourself comfortable.” He’d always been a bit of a joker but that was, perhaps, going a bit too far.
Image credits: lost_in_tyme
#46I used to have a friend who would always come over to take a shower. When I asked him about it, he told me he preferred my bathroom over his.
Image credits: xinexop522
#47I invited 6 people for Sunday brunch, including an acquaintance “K” who worked in my department. It seemed like a good opportunity to reciprocate and invitation she’d extended within the past few months (a big gathering at her house with her roommates….I stopped by for about an hour, had a delightful time amongst mostly strangers.)
It was a rare hot summer day in upstate NY, and I lived in a small house with no air conditioning. I woke up early to bake biscuits while it was a bit cooler. Was running as many fans as I could to circulate air before guests came over…..
Through the buzz of the fans, I hear a knock on the door. It was K- she was here AN HOUR before guests were invited. “Oh- I was out for a morning walk and then I realized I was in your neighborhood early. Thought I could help!” And in she waltzed….
I couldn’t send her on an errand because she walked over. This was her first time over- maybe while on foot, she needed to use the bathroom? Was it daylight savings time? My mind circled trying to reason WHY ON EARTH she’d show up without so much as a call/text.
I said I needed to hop in the shower (I was DISGUSTINGLY hot) but she was welcome to add a batch of simple syrup to lemonade and pour herself a glass. Was in the bathroom for 5 minutes, and she got to work while I was in there…..
When I came out, she’d set food on the table (some which wasn’t meant to be served.) She also gathered branches and leaves from the yard and created a table scape? We made small talk as I chopped vegetables for a frittata and she whipped eggs. She did most of the chatting.
As other guests arrived on time, she offered them lemonade and asked them to take off their shoes. It then dawned on me- I had a guerrilla co-host. As I set one of the last dishes on table she announced, “Come and get it!” Handed people silverware, offered to spoon different items on their plates…..The last straw was when she went out onto my deck, picked unwashed mint and tried to garnish someone’s yogurt trifle. He pulled his plate away and said, “I don’t want you touching my food.”
Mercifully, someone offered her a ride home since she’d walked over. I’d never felt so uncomfortable in my own home due to someone’s well-intended gestures.
#48A family member brought her own sugar to our Thanksgiving dinner because she was afraid we wouldn't offer it with the coffee.
#49Called it “free lodging and comped meals” and didn’t flush the toilet. Left wrappers under the guest bed. Refused to carry their own luggage.
#50When I was 14 my landlord came to our apartment to fix the toilet and he took his pants off and did the whole thing in his boxers.
I was alone with my mom and ignored him but it was weird and when I told my dad he was furious.
The landlord said he was going to a wedding later and didn't wanna dirty his pants but it was so f**king weird that he just did it and never explained himself until my dad screamed on him.
#51We were having a bbq and invited some friends over. One of my boyfriends (not majorly close) friends, who I couldn’t stand but tolerated; arrived at our house with three cheap looking dolphin statues and put them In my bathroom. My boyfriend told me they were a gift. Later on in the night, the friend asked me if he could move in for a while. I said no. So he left, but made a huge deal out of taking his ugly dolphin statues back.
#52We were having a party at my house. It was weird as f**k to begin with because my dad was having a hard time choosing between two women. He'd date one for a little while, then break up to date the other one for a little while, then realize he really loved the first one. It was a mess.
Anyway, he invited them both to our house that night and they both brought their kids, who were all around my age. There were 6 of us kids in all.
My best friend was the first woman's daughter. Well, she had hatched a plan and without really offering an explanation, convinced me to initiate a game of truth or dare.
Her plan was for me to dare her to put her head inside my toilet and flush it. No f**king clue why I agreed but I did. I dared her, she immediately jumps up and runs to the bathroom, all of us following her. Lifts the toilet seat, submerges her head into the toilet water and flushes.
One of the second woman's daughters is looking on at her as if she's f**king insane (she wasn't wrong though) and there's all this commotion in my bathroom between the 6 of us and our parents all come rushing inside to see what the f**k is going on.
My best friend's mother's eyes go wide as f**king saucers and I swear I saw smoke coming out of her ears as she starts screaming at her daughter, pulling her head out of the toilet and wrapping her hair in one of my towels. At this point I'm f**king crying and struggling for air because all of this is the most f**ked up hilarious s**t that I have ever witnessed in my short life. Her mother screams at me in this high pitched, enraged voice to shut up because it's not funny and I have to leave before she tries to kill me too.
My poor bestie got in big trouble for embarrassing the hell out of her when she was trying so hard to get my father to choose her over the other woman. Her mother convinced my father to punish me for daring her daughter to do that, even though her daughter was the one who wanted this to happen.
The other mom and her kids left pretty much immediately, but when the others left, my bestie catches my eye and she has this huge Squints Palledorous smirk (The Sandlot) on her face like "Yeah! Mission accomplished!"
She knew exactly what the f**k she was doing because that second lady never looked back and my dad ended up choosing her mom for some crazy f**ked up reason.
#53There was this kid in the neighborhood when I was growing up who came over to play at my house once.
The only thing is when the time came, he wouldn't leave after repeatedly being asked.
My parents and I actually ended up having to chase him around the house to try to get him out the door, with him laughing the whole time like it was a some kind of weird game to him.
He was not invited back after that.
#54So far I have had 2 people fart in every room of my new house to “bless it”. Only lived there for a few months so far so waiting for more craziness.
#55When my sister & I were kids (21 & 17) we had a big party when our parents were out of town. A few days after their return one of the toilets started acting up. Dad found an entire Taco Bell taco, still taped up in its original wrapping, in the tank. Only one kid had Taco Bell that night. We def got busted, but ‘taco in the tank wasted’ was born that day.
#56We went on holiday, hired local old lady cat sitter to mind the cats for the 10 days we were away. Nothing unusual with the cats care, we have plenty of extra food and water bowls, bags of litter, litter bags and scoop all left out.
We get back, cats are good, house is fine, but next to the litter tray is the spaghetti scoop, you know that weird kitchen implement you never actually use - that's what she had been using to scoop their poop for the time we were away, the actual scoop which was right there, was unused.
Image credits: MrTourette
#57Says she was a vegan, so only brought with her some seeds, nuts, etc. but cooked and ate MY pork chops before I got home from work. She had no company over.... so it was HER!
#58When I was a kid I had one of my friends over for dinner. We passed a pot of macaroni around the table, scooping it onto our plates with a wooden spoon. I don’t know if he just wasn’t paying attention or what, but the pot got to him and he just sat it on his plate and began eating the macaroni directly out of the pot… with the wooden spoon. I looked at my mom and she was like :O
#59my brother brought home a new partner for christmas, they'd been dating about 6 months I think. She picked ALL the lemons off the lemon trees in the backyard, several bags full. Then she demanded my mother make everyone lemonade with a few of them, and packed up the rest to go back with her. lol.
Edit-maybe this was not christmas, it had to have been sometime in the spring. easter? idk
#60The one coming to mind is the pizza delivery guy who got out of his truck, stretched his legs for a couple of minutes and even went into the splits at one point before casually sauntering to the front door to hand over the pizza. We were all at the window spying on him in shock
#61My cousin was in highschool when she decided to bring all of her highschool friends in our house. My dad was at home that time so he decided to cook lunch for these highschool girls So when my dad was cooking he noticed that these girls are coming out of our restroom (facing the hallway where my dad was cooking) just covered with towels and being loud as hell. My dad was quite shocked and irritated. My cousin and these girls didn't tell my dad that they'll also take a showers smdh
I knew damn well that they also used our bathroom stuff and didn't even apologize for leaving our restroom dirty.
Some people can't buy manners.
#62The son of theirs was stuffing down paper towels in the toilet and it ended up getting clogged.
I’m guessing that they kept using the handle to flush it down and ended up overflowing my bathroom.
The poor kid freaked out because they used up all the paper towels and certainly didn’t want to get in trouble by their mom, so they decided to go in my bathroom drawers, somehow take down my lock, and use my night time pads to soak up all the toilet water on the ground.
They laid it down one by one and left it on the ground.
#63My wife's oldest friend was using wetnaps to wipe her a** and just like, putting them in our tiny bathroom trash can.
This in and of itself would have been eye brow raising but not memorably ridiculous...but she'd also spent the entire trip criticizing our house, and at one point when I noticed a weird smell in the bathroom area, which is adjacent to the kitchen, she said "well it must be your sinks, do you ever clean them?" You know, when in reality it was the poop covered wetnaps creating the smell.
I discovered what she'd been doing when I went to empty and take out the trash as she was leaving.
Now, I don't know how it's done, but I know this is a thing people do and I'm assuming there are ways to do it without leaving sizeable amounts of s**t all over them and in / on the trash can. I seriously questioned whether this person knew how to wipe properly.
When I confronted her she straight up started lecturing us about how we wipe our a**es. No accountability.
She is banned from our house.
#64Took my washing basket when they left.
#65Invited a group over for dinner, most 45-55 - one couple arrived, wife was nice, husband sat in a chair and stayed there, didn’t talk to anyone and just turned his nose up the whole time. After they all left we noticed he had eaten a whole bowl of pistachios, and had dropped all the shells onto the floor between his feet and ground them into the carpet.
#66One time my parents invited some of their friends over. They had 2 kids, a couple years younger than me and my brothers, a boy and a girl. Since I’m the only girl in my family I was forced to play with the girl. I showed her around my room and stupidly, showed her my stash of Nutella. After a few hours of playing Minecraft in my lounge room, she goes to the ‘bathroom’. She was taking pretty long so I went to check on her but she came out of my bedroom, Nutella on her face. I go into my room and check my stash to find one of my Nutella jars empty. I’m never rude to guests so I let it slip by. I’ve never let her in my room ever since then
#67When I was 20 and lived alone in an apartment, she came and started cleaning and went back home. Literally all she did was just cleaning. Well I appreciated it though.
#68Brought their small dogs to lunch, dogs then used our kitchen floor as a toilet and they proceeded to blame my toilet trained and fully dressed small child…
#69punched me in the face because i didn’t like the same cartoon as them. we were really little, lol. suffice it to say no more play dates occurred with this person.
#70One time my ex let her friend stay at my place without really asking me, it was my house but my ex stayed over so much I think she started thinking of it as “our” house lmao anyway one day I caught her friend opening all of my mail in the living room, I went full Tina Belcher like uhhhhhhhhhhhhh weirdest thing I’ve seen a guest do and that includes people taking a dump and forgetting to flush and jerking off with the guest bedroom door wide open
#71I had an old friend sleep over once and he used my loofah in the shower even though I offered him a wash cloth. I threw a fit and put it in the trash after.
#72In college a girl who was the friend of friend had a bad breakup earlier in the day. Proceeded to get wasted and start crying. I let have some alone time in my room to get it out during a party. Went to go to bed later and realized she had pissed in my bed and soaked my mattress foam. I threw it away and she bought me a new one the next day so not that bad. Didn’t want to make her feel bad so my ex that knew her better than I did talked to her about the whole thing and worked it out lol. I knew she was a spoiled rich girl but geez just walk like 5 feet out my door and take a piss.
#73I had a friend do this to my sister ( also her friend). They have a small house and my friend was visiting the area and was suppose to stay with someone else but didn’t let them know or even ask if they could stay…they get there and turns out they’re not home. So friend asked my sister if they could stay with her and her husband. Their house is super small so she wasn’t sure since they don’t really have a guest room or big couch to sleep on. They started guilting her about having to shell out for a hotel (they had the money easily for a hotel). My sister and husband being the nice folks they are said they could stay and even gave them some stuff to sleep on. They wake up in the morning and turns out they had left without really saying thanks or goodbye and noticed their window ac unit was left on all night. She was pretty upset considering she was hoping to at least spend some time with them since they crashed there.
Almost a year later they go back to visit again and sisters car is dead and she asked them for a jump thinking they would be able to since her husband and other friends were at work, they said no basically because they wanted to get to a party sooner rather than later…she was pretty hurt.
#74Caught my cousin stealing insulin testing strips from my parents room during Christmas lunch a few years ago. She didn't have diabetes, a sugar testing machine or a needle pen to use the strips anyway. And no one in her household had diabetes either!
#75Had some friends over for the evening. One of them decided to clean their ears using the qtips in the bathroom. The end of the qtip fell into their ear canal. Had to lend them tweezers so they could fish it out.
#76I don't have guests over, but when I was 16 and still lived with my dad he had over a friend of his and that friend's girlfriend, who was like 40 something, who proceeded to spend the entire evening flirting with me, the 16 year old.
Never felt more uncomfortable in my life. Idk why no one said anything.
#77Straight up opened the fridge and took stuff to eat without asking. It's fine... they can have whatever they want... but I would've asked first.
#78I had a friend of my sister stay in my apartment in NYC for a couple weeks. Every other day or so, unbeknownst to me, he would take all the trash bags and set them nicely on the curb outside my apartment building. Being from the suburban Midwest, he thought this was how trash pickup was done and that he was doing me a favor.
One night the super comes to my door (rightfully) screaming "get your trash off the street!".
#79I was a kid and invited another kid to my house (<10 years old). When he showed up he brought like 4-5 family members with him, no parents just siblings and cousins. They stayed just a few minutes (everything was awkward) they said they had to leave, insisted on knowing the way out themselves, and that was that. About 2-3 minutes pass and I go to the kitchen for a drink and they're all still in my house hiding behind the counters stealing our silverware. My family is broke as hell, that was not real silver lol. They all scramble for the door and the kid never really explained anything at school. Turns out they were poor too, just dumb kids knowing the weight of money too early.
Image credits: Aelok
#80my cousin paid me a visit last month, she is an year younger to me and I never invited her. I live in 4 bedroom apartment with 3 other people and things like kitchen sharing, common washrooms and balcony/terrace usage are pretty synchronised so that we don't end up fighting. However my cousin disregarded everything, annoying all 4 of us, then went partying one night and I gave her the spare key so she wont turn up late and wake everyone by ringing the doorbell multiple times.
Next morning we all woke up and realised she didnt come home, must have hooked up with someone and stayed out, and we were taling as to when she will leave and all that while having breakfast.
After an hour I decided to give her a call and the phone started ringing in the house. Her purse and phone was on the shoe cabinet but she wasnt anywhere. We got worried and we checked the security camera. Turns out she came in at around 3 in the morning, got herself inside using the spare key i gave, but she couldnt be seen anywhere.
Anyway we started looking up hoping she hadnt fallen out of terrace or something, after 15 minutes of panic looking we found her passed out on her own vomit in the washroom. She had also starined her wrist and needed medical help. Spent the whole Sunday cleaning up the washroom, getting her sobered up and taking her to the hospital.
Worst Sunday morning ever.
#81Had a guest accidentally book their flight a week early, tell us 1 day before, showed up and stayed a total of 17 days.
They were strung out on Adderall, anti depressants, and anti psychotics. (We found this out because they were acting so weird and we checked their bag when they were out trying to refill their RX).
Took them 3 hours with Google maps to find the pharmacy 1 mile away. They repacked their bag sometimes twice a day.
I was kind of scared, we slept with the door locked.
#82New year's Eve party. He got super drunk and lecherous, wouldn't leave my housemates gf alone. Kept putting his arms round her and stuff. I told him that if he touched her again he was leaving, and he got mad at me and said "look at her, how do you expect me not to touch her?" Sure, she's pretty and I think we all have a bit of a crush on her, but none of us are touching her up or being creepy a**holes.
#83Doused all my dishes in olive oil because they thought it was dish soap.
#84Definitely one of my friends +1 to a party I was hosting. I didn't mind him being there. I just encouraged him to be himself and not be introverted. He took that pretty literally. There were a few memorable things he did that definitely fit in this criteria.
We were lightly drinking. Some beers and wine. Nothing serious. He was shotgunning every beer we gave to him. Then screaming after finishing a beer. Every time.
Shortly after he was pretty buzzed he was out in my backyard shirtless in - 6° F snow throwing snowballs at my neighbors windows. For like 15 minutes. Non stop.
It was a night party. We requested everyone only drink in moderation so they can drive home. Or atleast call an Uber. We don't have a guest room or a large couch to sleep on. He passed out in our garage on the concrete. We found him the following morning laying in his own vomit
When he was leaving. He asked if he could use a shower. There's two showers in the house. The master bedroom shower and the guest shower. He took a shower in the master bedroom shower.
As he was leaving. He shotgunned a beer. Screamed at 7 in the morning in my front yard. Then peeled out in his 90s civic.
#85A girl that I barely knew flushed down one of these smell good thingies that sits on the edge of a toilet. Whole bathroom floor had to be ripped up and the pipes needed needed to be fixed.
#86While taking a s**t, they took my fancy-ish bathroom trash can and put their feet on top of it so that they could “be more efficient”. They called it a squatty potty?
I only found out because I went in to grab something and saw the brand new trash can had a huge dent in it, so I asked what happened. He explained to me all about how it’s a more efficient way to poop and that I should try it.
This same guy had been talking to me about potentially being a roommate, so I told him if that’s how he was going to treat the place I wasn’t interested.
A few days later my house was egged. Still wonder if it was him or just some neighborhood kids.