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If you hope your kid grows up to be like the wine-drunk mom from Arrested Development, I can suggest no finer children’s book than Eloise, an outdated ode to self-indulgence, materialism, entitlement, and narcissism

Though Eloise is not the worst children’s book of all time (that would be “Dick, Dick What Did You Lick?”), cultist devotion to this 1955 “classic” — resulting in a 124% increase in girls given that name in 2016 alone and Lena Dunham’s worst tattoo —  makes zero sense. When did we all decide this book was okay much less actually good? Sponsored by Pandora Gifts to Say Thanks for Always Being There Whether you can’t speak face to face with your mom on Mother’s Day or want to give the mother of your children something special this year, send her a gift to say thanks for always being there, even if you can’t be together. Pandora Jewelry is something...

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