When you get friend-zoned, it’s always your fault. It’s not luck. It’s not “one of those things”.
Something you did made her categorize you as a friend instead of a potential lover. If you’re perpetually friend-zoned, it’s something you keep doing.
There are guys out there who never get friend-zoned, because they know what to never do.
I’m one of them.
Below, you’ll discover the steps I take to ensure no woman decides she and I should be “just friends”.
How I Avoid The Friendzone
I Make My Intentions Clear
Mainstream dating experts often suggest it’s better to be friends who blossom into lovers. The idea is the ‘friends first’ approach builds stronger longer-lasting relationships.
A lot of guys try this approach on their crushes, but for a different reason.
They do it because they’re afraid of potential rejection. They’d rather act as her friend and wait for a sign that she wants something more.
Sadly, women tend to categorize men as friends for life. It’s widely agreed that the friendzone is so difficult to escape.
It’s better to immediately declare your romantic intentions. Compliment her appearance. Flirt with her. Invite her out on a date.
This shows you’re braver and more confident than the so-called ‘friends’ trying to sneak into her pants. It also clarifies that you have no interest in ever being her friend.
I Create Sexual Tension
Nice guys run from sexual tension at all costs. Sexy guys try to create it.
Here, we’ll focus on the one most likely to keep you out of the friendzone. Breaking rapport.
Nice guys try to build rapport in all their conversations with women. They’re only ever kind and polite. They won’t flirt too blatantly for fear of offending someone.
The problem is: that’s too predictable. It’s too friendly. There’s no tension in predictability and that’s why women claim they don’t feel ‘the spark’ with these traditional gentlemen.
Sexy guys break rapport by teasing women, making a dirty joke or an outrageous comment. They’ll do it by joking that the date is going badly or calling out a woman’s bad behavior. They seemingly talk without giving a single f*ck what other people think.
This is unpredictable and therefore more exciting. It creates a desire for women to chase your approval, and that’s what creates the ‘spark’ that’ll keep you out of the friendzone for life.
I’m Only Ever Positive About Sexuality
Some women are freaks in the bedroom. A lot of them, actually.
Unfortunately, most won’t admit their sexual cravings because they’re terrified of being labelled as a slut.
They certainly won’t ever date a man who would shame them for these desires.
That’s why I only ever speak positively about promiscuity, kinks, fetishes and everything else. I’ll cheerfully tell stories about my housemate’s post-break-up Tinder rampage. I’ll show them my book titled Big Dick Energy. I won’t slut-shame anyone ever.
Because if this girl is a freak and you come across as a prude, you can only ever be her friend.
Those who only want innocent princesses can choose to ignore this section, but please be aware that many ‘good girls’ are bad girls in disguise.
I Don’t Try To Become Her Boyfriend
Male/female friendships often lack sexual polarity.
That means there isn’t a spark created between strong masculine and feminine energy.
In other words, you weren’t man enough for her.
A great way to come across as a feminine man is to be desperate for a woman’s companionship.
An undeniable pillar of masculinity is the desire for freedom, not the desire to be tied down into a relationship.
It doesn’t just kill the sexual tension when you’re trying to hang out with a woman all the time, it makes you look less masculine too.
When you’re the one pushing her for monogamy, the same applies.
That’s why I never act like a woman’s boyfriend until I become that. I don’t message her every day. I don’t do huge favors. I won’t spoil her with gifts.
I just invite her out and show her an awesome time.
She’s the feminine being, so she should be pushing you for commitment. You can guarantee you’re not in the friendzone once that happens.
How To Escape The Friendzone
If you’ve already been friend-zoned by your crush, you’ve probably already done something to show you’re not masculine enough for her tastes.
The most effective way to change her mind is to stop chasing her attention for a while.
During this time, identify what you did to get yourself friend-zoned and work on improving this area of your personality.
Then, start dating other women. Prove to yourself and her that she’s not your only hope of finding true love.
If she notices you making these improvements, she might reach out and start chasing your affection.
In most cases though, you’ll already be dating women who are way better than this one.
My book Big Dick Energy features 12 powerful exercises to help you unleash your natural masculinity in conversations with women.
You can learn more about this book by clicking here or watching the video below.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Joe Elvin(Author)
The post Here’s Why I’ve Never Been Friend-Zoned in My Entire Life appeared first on The Good Men Project.