Living together as a couple is a momentous milestone in a relationship. It requires you to open yourself up to each other and see each other for who you truly are—sometimes, in more ways than one.
Although it’s wonderful to share your space and spend even more time together, you might learn something new about your spouse when it comes to their behavior at home. A popular post on r/AskReddit highlights some of the weirdest things that people only found out about their partners only after getting married and living together. So, Bored Panda has collected the funniest and most bizarre stories.
Whether it’s strange, late-night habits in the bedroom (no, not those ones) or some questionable hygiene practices, it seems like starting married life isn’t all the bliss it’s made out to be.
#1I was friends with my husband for 16 years before we got engaged and moved in together...... I found out that he insists on sleeping fully clothed
Not like....a T-shirt and pajama bottoms
In his friggin jeans, shirt, even shoes
Image credits: Rigelian417
#2She talks in her sleep. And not like “I forgot milk”. Like “Do you think hot dogs are steak d***s?” or “COSMIC-SHEEP WHERE ARE THE FREAKIN BAGELS GO FIND THE BAGELS” (the latter said while staying at a friend’s mountain cabin forty five minutes from town at 2 AM).
Relationships are magical.
Image credits: Cieminy
#3My husband takes his shirt off to poop, I'm not sure why.
Image credits: Zukazuk
#4HE EATS DEVILED EGGS WITH SUCH A FEROCITY. He will literally forget to take breaks in between eggs in order to breathe. ... he'll start freakin sweating...
My mother did not believe me so made some for him for Christmas and got to witness the horror first hand.
For context he's a pretty fit dude who eats most of his meals normally.
Image credits: Pheorach
#5She likes to walk around the house with one sock on and one sock off.
Image credits: jeff_the_nurse
#6Her shoes. Shoes in living room, shoes in the hall, shoes in the bathroom, shoes in the other bathroom, shoes under the kitchen table, shoes under the coffee table, shoes next to the coffee table, shoes in her trunk, shoes in my trunk. Shoes next to the bed, shoes under the bed, shoes on the bed. Shoes.
Image credits: iHateMonkeysSObad
#7He rips paper towels in half and saves the other half. I collected them, wrapped them up, and gave them to him for Christmas. Yes, we used the other half, I'm not a earth-killing savage.
He gets out of the shower, struts into the room naked, and says, "OK, gotta go to work." Like, weekly. It's funny every time, I think that is the actual weird thing.
Image credits: tattertittyhotdish
#8My wife makes sex noises while she sleeps. It's super cute and very funny to me. I didn't tell her about it until she went on a weekend trip with friends and she asked me about it after they said something.
Image credits: SargeOsis
#9My wife is incapable of keeping track of small, important items (like her keys, wallet, or cell phone). If it can be lost, she WILL lose it, usually for several days. Even after ten years of marriage, I am still amazed at her ability to do this.
Image credits: JXG_Art
#10My husband will fall asleep in the most awkward and uncomfortable positions. Like he will stay up on the couch playing a video game or watching TV while I go to bed. He will then fall asleep on the couch but not lying down or with his head on the back. He will contort himself into a human pretzel and sleep. And he has no idea why his back and neck are so messed up all the time.
Image credits: breentee
#11Apparently my wife does not poop. We have been together for about 15 years and not once have I caught her cr*pping. It's disturbingly strange. Maybe she's an alien.
Image credits: _Stash
#12My husband is terrible at finding things. It can be front and center at eye level in the fridge and he can't find it! I used to hide his presents by putting them in the open on a chair in our bedroom — I called it my 'super-secret' hiding spot.
Image credits: Zukazuk
#13My husband does NOT like "chunks" in his chili or spaghetti. He also climbs up on the roof when he gets sad or scared, prefers to pee while sitting down, has daydreams about chopping wood while shirtless, and sometimes jacks off on my Frozen t-shirts. Oh, and he eats candy in his sleep.
#14He likes to sleep with pieces of tissue in his ears cause he believes his ears leaks wax. I've never seen them leak. Kinda found it gross at the start of the relationships but 7 years in I just pick up those tissue bits up from our bedroom ground and it's doesn't even bother me.
Hocks in shower and that does bother me. A girl has limits.
Image credits: pretzelstickssalty
#15He likes to slap his booty when he gets out of the shower. He has a certain beat that he keeps and it is so very loud.
Image credits: Rachel348
#16My wife brushes her teeth, goes pee. Comes to bed. We talk for 20 mins. She gets up, goes pee. We talk for 5 mins because she thought of something in the bathroom. I turn over, close my eyes to go to bed.
I hear the toilet flush, and she gets back in bed.
This repeats until she falls asleep provided that there's been no more than 5 minutes since she last went pee.
Image credits: Suuperdad
#17He chews on things that he picks off his body: callused foot skin, toe nails, finger nails, etc.
Image credits: Peasblossom
#18My husband freaks out if he sees me plucking my eyebrows. Like, “OH MY GOD! How do you DO that to yourself!?” Every time. But he won’t look away when I do it. He’ll just cringe with each pluck.
Image credits: mtmel
#19Occasionally my wife will sit straight up in bed, but she is dead asleep. The first couple times she did it I thought she was going to go to the bathroom or drink some water but she just sat there. I tried talking to her and when she didn’t respond I realized she was asleep. Horrifying.
I’m used to it now, so I just rub her back and quietly tell her “Lay down it’s time to sleep.” and she will lay back down. Apparently she reflexively punched her ex in the eye once because he didn’t realize she was asleep and he woke her up. Pass. Not getting punched by you beautiful creepy wife.
Image credits: dandelion_w_i_n_e
#20My boyfriend just moved in with me about a month ago and he cannot close a drawer to save his life, I swear every time he takes something out of a drawer he forgets that it doesn't close on its own.
Image credits: dumbest
#21My wife, the second day of us dating/living together, she was like, “Listen, I fart, okay?” And everything else has been smooth sailing ever since - 7 years later. I never suggest the parameters of our relationship to others.
#22She always laughs about how I use specific kitchen items for specific tasks, like certain bowls are only for cereal, and certain cups are only for drinking water. Of course, I am also amused at her insistence on the "correct" organization of her side of the closet and within the drawers of her dresser. I never knew how many different categories of blue jeans existed before I met her.
#23He blows his nose into his towel and then dries off with it.
But I'm the crazy one for refusing to share a towel.
He then ALWAYS hangs the towel over the shower curtain rod so I have to move his booger towel to shower. Sometimes boogies fall off into the tub and... Just yuck, dude.
11+ years of boogers.
Image credits: DumpTruckTaco
#24Found out my wife bites into her popsicles with her front teeth like a psychopath
#25That she pisses like a racehorse in an echo chamber.
Do all women pee in such a deafening manner?
#26I've been married to my husband for 5 years. I have never seen the man blow his nose. He only sniffles.
#27My wife sheds hair like a husky
#28He chews soft foods... ice cream, jello, and you can hear it from across the dam house.!
#29My husband has to bootcamp style clean EVERYTHING and roll his clothes bootcamp style. Hes a redneck country boy type but was sent to bootcamp and some of it is still drilled into his head. The whole Yes maam, No maam, Yes sir, No sir thing...His basic stance. All military boot camp.
#30He stands up to wipe his butt.
#31I honestly didn't know people farted in their sleep.
Not judging, don't really care - I just didn't know that until then.
#32Around guests or in public he eats totally normal and politely.
At home he goes full caveman. It's like that scene in Beauty and the Beast when he eats the porridge.
#33He tears off his toenails and smells them before discarding.
#34My husband stands in the shower for a good ten minutes without doing anything. I think he falls back asleep standing up.
#35She is a water bottle hoarder.
While packing up for our last move, we filled one of those curbside recycling bins with empty water bottles twice.
Bottles in drawers, under the bed, behind the fridge. Her thing is that she wants to recycle them but isn’t always near the bin, so she sets an empty one down and forgets about it, then it disappears.
Maybe the cats, maybe shuffled items, who knows. I accept no blame; I’m all about tap water and forgetting to sweep underneath things.
#36My ex had like the worst smelling belly button ever. She used come home after a long day of work and that thing would reak of rotten cheese and meat. No joke I could smell it across the room.
#37Women use a lot of toilet paper.
#38When eating Oreos, she takes a mug filled with milk and places the Oreo in the mug, she then takes a spoon and scoops it out of the milk and eats the Oreo off of the spoon. Why else would God have given us fingers if not for using to dip Oreos I say?
Once when we were at my in-law’s home, she was eating Oreos this way and I started giving her shit about it. Then I look around the room and see her dad, mom, and three sisters just looking at me; all holding their mugs of milk and Oreos with spoons to extract said Oreos from the milk. Foot, meet mouth.
#39Wife will change clothes 3 times a day. Get up puts on her running around sweats, gets dressed for work, comes home changes into her casual clothes. Then fuss about how much laundry she has.
I get up get dressed for work and I'm done, might change shirts if you go someplace after work.
#40My husband has no off switch. If I'm not listening, he just talks to himself. He has full on conversation in the shower. He pauses YouTube videos in the middle to give commentary. He's pretty much only quiet when he sleeps, and then he snores! I love him to bits though. The house feels weird when he's not here chattering away.
#41I guess not weird, but a lot of people do it, but anyways my wife likes to pee in the shower. Especially when I'm in the shower with her.
#42She's afraid of the dark, not just like a random, dark, creepy, haunted-looking building but to the point where if she is alone she has to sleep with a night light or if the hallway is dark, she needs me to walk with her.
#43He thinks it's a 'weird personality quirk' that I want to sleep on the same side of the bed every night. He teases me for it.
#44We like to hang our toilet paper rolls in opposite directions. Sometimes we have petty disputes where we switch the orientation of the toilet paper roll back and forth because we both believe we are correct.
#45That he sleepwalks.
He's only done it maybe twice, and it was when he was incredibly stressed out and exhausted after our son was born. But apparently he used to do it all the time as a kid, and it runs in his family. Our son even has night terrors sometimes, which are thought to be related to my husband's sleepwalking (it's said paranomnias run in families).
#46My husband cannot clean his ears without coughing. He is also extremely particular about q-tips. He keeps them in a sealed container and will not use the same one on both ears and will not use it if it's touched anything outside of the q-tip box.
#47The man is capable of consuming SO MUCH peanut butter. I have never in my life had to purchase peanut butter this frequently.
#48He had an addiction to soda. He would leave empty 2 liter bottles in clusters. Sometime 15 of them. I don’t know why he didn’t just throw them in recycling. I called them his “sculpture gardens”. He has since quit soda all together, so no more sculpture gardens in this house.
#49When my wife and I first moved in together she had this ridiculous fear that someone would break into the apartment. So the front door was dead locked and the flimsy a*s bedroom door was locked, every night. I got used to that, but the weirdest part was, as afraid as she was, she HAD to sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door. I'll never understand that thought process.
#50If he’s playing a video game, and only when he is playing a video game, he will come upstairs, make himself something to eat or drink, and run back downstairs... the “weird” part is that half the time he forgets to put away some perishable ingredient, or just doesn’t put any of the food back period. This one time he left a whole gallon of milk out during a fucking snow storm. I bring up his weird habit when we get into petty arguments about cleaning the house and his response is always “OH MY GOD M4RCELINE IT HAPPENED ONE TIME!”
It definitely did not happen just one time. The milk incident, yes, that was only once. But just last week he left out half of a (cooked) frozen pizza. Also, I always know when he’s been eating peanut butter waffles because I go into the kitchen to find Aunt Jemima and cousin Jif staring at me by the toaster.
#51My husband eats finger foods with a fork. Pizza? Fork. Chicken nuggets? Fork. Fries? Fork.
#52My boyfriend refuses to do his studying or any paperwork at his actual desk. It is piled high with papers and books. Instead he does all his work at the pool table so he can be near the kitchen.
#53I can come home from a day at work when she is off all day and immediately tell what she ate, did and didn’t do all day.
#54He keeps Swiss cake rolls in the freezer. What the hell? You don’t buy them from the freezer - why would you keep them there?
#55The fact that he doesn't stir up things like yogurt and sour cream before using them. Just spoons it out un-stirred like a barbarian.
When he takes his socks off, he doesn’t pull them out flat. He leaves them in the wadded up form they take on from the way he removes them, and doesn’t fix it before he washes them.