You may be asking yourself: Do my children really need encouragement — or new material — when it comes to toilet humor? Most kids, after all, are already obsessed with poop jokes and poop puns. They can’t get enough of the poop emoji. “Diarrhea” and “poop” are gleefully thrown out as serious proposals for the names of sports teams, stuffed animals, and pizza orders. And the truth is most of their silly jokes about poop revolve around a world that goes beyond repeating (or singing) the word “poop.”
While the relentlessness of toilet humor and poop puns can be trying for parents, whose only sustained interest is poop that involves potty training, it’s a totally appropriate developmental phase and a rite of passage for kids. So if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. While your kid may not come up with the most clever of poop jokes, hilarious punchlines and comical puns about poop do exist. Here are a few genuinely funny ones guaranteed to delight your kids and even make you chuckle. Check out our pile of fresh ones below:
- Ready for a poop joke? Nope, they stink.
- Poop jokes aren’t my favorite jokes. But they’re a solid number two.
- I actually like poop jokes. I think they’re the sh*t.
- Poop jokes? I just hate when they’re too corny or run on.
- What do you call a magical poop? Poodini.
- Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed often, and for the same reasons.
- What did the poop say to the fart? “You blow me away.”
- I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever.
- Did you hear about the constipated composer? He had problems with his last movement.
- I like toilets for two reasons. Number one and number two.
- Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet? It wasn’t his doodie.
- What did one toilet bowl say to another toilet bowl? “You’re looking flushed.”
- What do women and toilet paper have in common? They both deal with a lot of crap.
- My love for you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.
- Why do doctors say four out of five people suffer from diarrhea? Because one guy likes it.
- What’s the similarity between poop and talent? Both will come out when it’s time for them to come out.
- What are kings’ farts called? A noble gas.
- Why did one woman bring toilet paper to the birthday party? She was a party pooper.
- They said pooping is a call of nature. So is farting a missed call?
- What’s something great about poop jokes? They’ll make your cheeks hurt.
- What is something you never appreciate until it’s gone? Toilet paper.
- What do a clown’s farts smell like? They smell funny.
- When a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what is it called? Dereliction of doodie.
- Why did the baker’s hands stink? He kneaded a poo.
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
- Why did the toilet seat cry? She got dumped.
- Why are there no bathrooms in some banks? Because not all banks accept deposits.
- Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans.
- Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack.
- What’s the best snack for watching a movie that sucks? Poop-corn!Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.
- Children are like farts. Your own are just about bearable, but everyone else’s are horrendous.
- What’s the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopen.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? No I won’t smell your poo!
- What did the prune say to his employees? “Let’s m ake this sh*t happen.”
- What did the puma say to his friend who was making poop jokes? “Stop making me laugh or I’ll puma pants!”
- Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He just couldn’t budget.
- Did you hear about the constipated movie? It never came out.
- Did you hear about the sequel, Diarrhea? It leaked, so they had to release it early.
- What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls? Dung-arees.
- Poop jokes don’t always get the potty started, but they sure do finish it.
- I love my women like my diarrhea. I just can’t hold it in.
- What did the conditioner bottle do to the toilet seat? He shampooed it.
- Why did the prankster put poo in the elevator? Because he wanted to take his pranks to the next level.
- Which poop movie in a trilogy is the worst of all? The turd one.
- What is a bathroom fairy called? Stinkerbell.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Poop. Poop who? Hahaha, you said poo twice!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? I did up. I did up who? Eww. You did a poo?
- Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh!
- What type of poop jokes should you never crack? The corny ones.
- What is a vegetarian suffering from diarrhea called? A salad shooter.
- How can you unlock a toilet when you are in a hurry? With a doo-key.
- What do flies politely say to the other? “Is this stool taken?”
- When does Denzel Washington usually need to hang out with the Rugrats? On potty training day.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken next to him farted.
- Where do cavement poop? In a Neander-stall.