Some people think being single isthe worst thing in the world with all those lonely nights, eating alone, no one to share your day with.
But thats not the way it is at all!
Sure, seeing In A Relationship, Engaged, or Married on your Facebook relationship status has its benefits. Theres the wholecompanionship, commitment, support system, and unconditional affectionfactor. Then, you have no need to look for a date for each occasion you go to because you already have one. Your sexuality isnt in question or no more pushy people asking for reasons why you didnt bring someone along every Thanksgiving.
Yeah, being in a relationship has its perks. I totally agree. But guess what? So does being single. Turns out, despite what Valentines Day cards try to tell you each year, being single is actually pretty awesome.Dont look at it as a negative, look at it as something to be envious of. Dont believe me?Let me try to tellyou the wondrous ways of the awesomely single:
1. You have the ultimate reason to be selfish.
With no one else to consider, your life, your way, baby!
2. Go to the movies.
Embrace that youre a confident new-age independent single.
3. YOU get to choose the movie.
4. YOU choose the snacks
Ahhh! Life is good not to mention a lot cheaper.
5. Go shopping.
You would be amazed at how relaxing it actually is without the sulking are you finished yet mumbles.
6. You can just browse as long as your pretty little self desires.
Go on just browse, its a whole new world out there!
7. You like it,you buy it.
You dont have to explain tono one.
8. No need to explainhow much you spent on sale items.
9. No hiding your bargains.
They dont have to be hidden towards the back of the wardrobe and slowly filtered out so they dont get noticed.
10. Go get a girlie magazine.
The ones with half-naked guys.
11. Grab a coffee in a funky caf.
Because it was so hipster for your past boyfriend.
12. Sip your flat white in that funky caf while flicking through your mag imagining yourself looking like some exotic movie star.
Youre oh-so-freakin chic right now.
On all the eye candy in the vicinity.
14. Make no apologies.
For such unabashed perv-ing.
15. Get busted.
BIG time perving on that decadent young man.
uncontrollably, and fumble around trying to pretend you werent actually looking at him.
17. Spill your bloody scorching hot coffee.
All down your top, oops!
18. Its okay to do this.
Even thoughits your brand new white top.
19. This is why you cant have nice things.
But who cares, because a man isnt there to tell you so!
20. Plan your subtle escape
with your newly tie dye inspired top.
21. Walk with pride
while thinking, Please dont let anyone I know see me.
22. Bump into your friends unexpectedly.
Oh hi girls!! Youre here? Hi, Karen, Susie, Bronwyn, Annie
23. Get back to your car.
Your safe sanctuary.
24. Blast YOUR choice of music
to wash away the humiliation.
25. Get back to YOUR place.
and strip off.
26. Actually walk around half naked.
and NOT get hit up for a bit of horizontal tango.
For as long as you freakin want.
28. Wash your hair
with that amazing boutique hair care product you paid a house payment for.
shaving those legs.
30. Decide not to
its still winter and youve got another couple of months to wear long pants to work.
The gorilla-gal trend that is.
32. Get those super comfy pjs on.
No not those slinky ride up your arse ones, the cotton stretchy worn-in ones. Ahhhhh, its just like coming home.
Could be steak and veggies ahh hell nahhh!!
35. Straight from the jar.
36. The whole jar.
37. Regret nothing.
38. Turn on TV.
Start flicking and dont stop.
39. Surf those thing like a pro.
Because you can.
40. You can watch three shows at the same time.
Just as long as you can get a full minute on one before switching to the next one.
Oh hell no!
42. In fact,NO sports!
43. Climb into bed.
When YOURE ready
44. Take up position.
45. Starfish position.
46. Because you can.
47. Own that queen size bed baby.
All of it!
48. Want to go out with the girls instead.
You can, easy.
49. No deals, guilt or compromises.
50. Get hella messy with cute guys.
51. Be appropriately inappropriate.
52. Forget that youre 40-something.
And think that you still can rock out like the 20-year-olds.
53. Hit that dance floor.
With moves like Jagger.
54. Catch a glimpse of your dancing reflection in a window.
55. Die a little inside.
56. Apparently, you look a little less like Beyonc.
And a little more like a baby hippo having a fit.
57. Try to revive your confidence with another drink.
58. Realise you really cant drink like you used to.
59. Develop an instant migraine.
Please God let there be one just outside.
61. Miracles dont happen that easily.
62. Get hit on by so many men.
63. With no teeth.
64. Or shirts.
65. Or shoes.
66. Its the middle of winter
What the friggen hell are you people doing?!
67. Finally get in that cab.
Alittle repulsed but at the same time smirking because in some parallel universe youve still got it, baby.
68. Mumble your address.
For the driver of this God-sent-chariot to take you home.
69. Drop your keys.
Multiple times overbalancing letting the wall catch you.
70. Start laughing uncontrollably
at how ridiculous you must look, because no one is there to judge you.
71. Fall through the front door.
Why be quiet, Im sure the dogs dont mind at all.
72. Time to de-robe.
Three words: Suck and tucks or spanks.
73. They have merged into my fat rolls
they are now one with my body.
74. Cant breathe.
75. Wonder just how long I have been oxygen starved.
76. Are my lips actually going blue?
77. Thats it where are the scissors?
These bad boys are coming off!!
78. Ahhhhh, sweet relief.
79. See point #43.
Get ready to take up sleep position. No tip-toeing tonight. Imagine a whale breaching do it. Really. Consider this your entrystatement to bed. Trust me its so satisfying.
80. Forget you have a shitty old bed.
81. Surely not ALL of the slats have broken.
85. As morning shows its bright and obnoxious face, consider the renovation of your room to uber chic loft-inspired style
i.e. mattress straight on the floor as your breaching was a little too exuberant the night before.
86. Spend the day knowing if there was a zombie apocalypse, youd best stay indoors.
Cause you sure a hell would be mistaken for one straight up.
87. Be confident if in fact there was an apocalypse, youre safe.
Phew!! Your breath smells like the bottom of a cockys cage and the smell leaching from your skin is positively toxic. No self respecting zombie would want to suck on that!
88. Run bath.
Afragrant, moisturising, Zen calming bath.
89. Soak, refresh and reset.
No interruptions. At all.
Once again, YOUR choice! (see a pattern here?)
91. Spend the time to check out Facebook.
92. Youve been tagged, a lot
Seriously, I mean a freakin lot. I didnt even see who was taking the photos..
You looked hot. Not bad at all.
94. Oh geez.
What am I doing in THAT one??? Untag!! Untag!!!
Whos that in that photo near the bar. Hes hot. Like really hot!!
96 Hang on
Check your phone. You have his number AND his name!! Mr hot guy with stripy shirt, you have a name!!!
TO CALL OR NOT TO CALL.
I think Ill pass.